13 Statements and Questions to Drive Your Youth Pastor into Early Retirement….

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…or perhaps more aptly titled, “13 Statements and Questions to Drive Your Youth Pastor into Quitting and Taking a Job at Starbucks.”

The title was shamelessly lifted from a post on “13 Statements and Questions to Drive Your Pastor into Early Retirement,” and I figured a companion post on youth pastors ought not to be far behind:

1. “Why have all those unchurched kids been hanging around our church?”

2. “The budget’s just too tight this year…but we’re working on getting you on board full-time next year!”

3. “Why don’t we ever do a [insert name of popular program or event] like [insert the name of a larger church with a larger youth ministry down the street]?”

4. “When is your wife (or husband) going to get involved in the youth ministry with you?”

5. “My daughter is having trouble with [name of another girl in her small group]. Could you please move [that girl] to another small group?”

6. “But [name of former youth pastor] ALWAYS let us [insert irresponsible and unsafe act].”

7. “(High school guy who has dated and broken up with eight girls in your church): “I’ve been spending a lot of time in prayer, and I really think God is telling me to date [name of yet another girl in your church].”

8. “Thursday night is your anniversary dinner with your wife? Don’t worry, you can come late to the meeting when your dinner’s over.”

9. “All those teenagers from your youth group have been too much of a distraction for our other congregants during worship service. Couldn’t you start a worship service just for them in the youth room?”

10. “Do a Bible study at home with my daughter? No, she gets all the Bible she needs at church.”

11. “Sorry, we just can’t afford to send our son on the mission trip this year. Besides, it’s the same week as our annual summer trip to Italy.”

12. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about my daughter: I think she would make a better lead singer for the youth worship band than that girl you’ve got in there right now.”

13. “When are you going to become a real pastor?”

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